Image: Oil painting titled ‘A couple dating in a café’ (Au Café) by the renowned French Impressionist painter and commercial artist Jean Béraud (1849-1935).
Dating is a word that I have been hearing or reading as often as words like family, birthday, love, and many more. I neither had any doubt about its meaning, nor did I feel the need to find out what it is all about. However, as I have to edit the pages of my friendship and dating site www.nexusinternational.biz almost every day I come across the word ‘dating’ used in some weirdest contexts in the ads submitted by users seeking dating singles or marriage partners. Some advertisers use dating just to say they want to get to know their future lovers, marriage partners or whatever, and some others use it to describe one-night stands. So, I too got confused and consulted the mother-of-all 'confusers', Google.
Here are some related terms that my search (or research) took me to: bonding, courtship, mating, boyfriend, girlfriend, domestic partnership, cohabitation, romantic friendship, sexual partner, soulmate, meet market, romance, bromance, singles event, wedding, concubinage, marriage, mistress, same-sex relationship, and many more. Reluctantly though, I read through all these keywords, and I must confess, I did not become better-informed than I was earlier, but more confused. So, I decided to stick to what I knew of dating, and to let the users use the term as they want it. However, the search led me to the online business potential of dating that promises to be a big money-spinner, both for dating site owners and affiliate marketers.
The most common definition of dating I found is: ‘a form of courtship, and may include any social activity undertaken by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse’. As an explanation it said Internet dating has become popular in recent times, and sometimes dating refers to activities that cost money (for example, a meal) and says traditionally the man was expected to pay; but in recent times the practice of ‘going Dutch’ (splitting the expenses) has become acceptable.
Typically, a dating system aims at simplifying matchmaking process and it can involve traditional matchmaking methods or it can be better facilitated by technology including internet dating sites, phone dating or chat-based systems. The following are some aspects of development of technology-driven dating systems.
Computer dating systems became popular in the 1960s and 1970s but unlike today’s dating systems, they were simply to match the compatibility of customers who filled out their data forms including tolerances and preferences, and some of their services were simply extensions of horoscope-matching for marriage. It was followed by video dating of the 1980s and 1990s in which customers gave their performances on video, which was viewable by other customers, usually in privacy.
In phone dating that emerged almost in the same period, customers can call a common voice mail or phone-chat server, and they are connected with other singles or partner-seekers. For the services, they are charged by the minute, often at very expensive rates. These services were sometimes misused by fraudulent service providers who used to exploit the customers by making paid-women to pretend to be potential future dates or brides.
Online dating services of the 1990s and present times, which may incorporate or integrate all the technologies to provide multiple means to communicate, including phone, video, mail, etc. have evolved to be the most popular and reliable services. With dating and marriage sites offering single women of countries such as Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, and some other nations of former Soviet Union (USSR) and East European countries, the most popular search term is mail order brides, and several dating and marriage sites operate from these countries or even from USA, offering mail order brides seeking men for marriage. The combined annual revenues of all dating and marriage sites is estimated to be in billions of dollars, though reliable audited data is hard to come by.
The concept of dating is also used in the business world, though their main business has nothing to do with dating, relationships or marriage. Instead of virtual social networking platforms, they use real meetings among business people, and as reports show, even trade fair organizations also find this concept an added value for their exhibitors.
Online dating systems use targeted websites to allow their customers meet new singles and others. These are very popular with single women and men seeking life partners and they mostly display photos, and even videos in the profiles. Men seeking women are expected to pay on certain conditions, though membership to men also are usually free. Such sites are big moneymakers and often employ affiliate marketers to promote their sites, paying affiliate marketing commissions as high as 50%. Some of the popular online dating websites are chemistry.com (a sister site of match.com), compatiblepartners.net, eharmony.com, lavalife.com, match.com, okcupid.com, parship.com, plentyoffish.com, shakemyworld.com, speeddate.com, spraydate.se and true.com.
Online dating allows singles, couples and groups to contact and communicate with each other over the Internet for developing a romantic or other relationship, often leading to marriage or long-term relationships or living-in arrangements. Such services provide matchmaking services over the Internet, through personal computers or cell phones. Dating sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, phone chat (VOIP) and message boards.
In speed dating, a group of people get together for hours, and a member is given a fixed amount of time to sit and talk to a particular person before moving on to the next. Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people. According to various accounts, the first speed dating event took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998. Soon several others began offering such dating events across the United States. By 2000, speed dating was very popular, perhaps boosted by its portrayal in shows such as ‘Sex and the City’ as something that glamorous people enjoyed doing.
Mobile phone dating, also known as cell dating, cellular dating, or cell phone dating heavily depends on text messages to and from mobile phones, and can be web-based. Mobile dating services allow individuals to chat, flirt, meet, and possibly become romantically involved by text messaging, mobile chatting and mobile web sites. Usually these sites are free, though standard text messaging fees may still apply as well as a small fee for the dating service.
Some mobile companies offer services such as homing devices to alert users when another user is nearby, in what is known as proximity dating. Some such systems involve Bluetooth technology to connect users in locations such as bars and clubs. These are more popular in some countries in Europe and Asia than online dating. With the advent of GPS phones and GSM localization, proximity dating is rising fast in popularity. According to reports, over 3.6 million cell phone users logged onto mobile dating sites in March 2007, and mobile dating market is expected to grow to $1.4 billion by 2013.
In singles events where a group of singles are brought together, the events may include parties, workshops and games. Many events are aimed at singles of various affiliations, interests, or religions, often with the purpose of fostering dating or relationship. Singles events are frequently run by organizations focused on building stability in their areas, such as religious organizations and community groups. Some local businesses, sports and cultural organizations also organize singles events. The themes of singles events can include ski trips, celebrity parties, dinners, holiday, art gallery visits, and even Valentine's Day mixers. Singles events have been an area of certain growth in singles-related commerce.
Singles events have been often criticized for being meet/meat markets, places where attendees are rapidly sizing up members of the opposite sex with objectifying criteria, such as attractiveness, wealth, and fashion. By the 1970s, singles events had drawn flak as a ‘ritual of lies and mistrust’. The nature of meet markets has changed since the 1980s, becoming more meaningful and positive.
Online dating is the second largest segment of paid content on the web, according to studies conducted by the Online Publishers Association (OPA) and others. Some dating sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising, including Google AdSense, for their revenue.